He continues about his routine as I sit on the bed, longingly looking at my pillow on the other end. The soft blanket and cloud-like mattress is calling to me. But, I resist. I need to be supportive.
The time has come. We say prayers and he heads to the door. I walk him to the doorway secretly giddy that I will soon be fast asleep in my soft, warm bed once more. I open the door, we embrace, kiss, and he is gone.
I shut the door and turn to head to my awaiting bliss. Out of the corner of my eye I spot something moving, and moving quickly. It's not small by any means. Great. I following the scurrying blur into my room. It darts underneath Roland's gym bag resting to the side of the closet door.
You know me and bugs. We don't get a long.
I stand afar off and slowly bend over to pick up the bag. I grip the bag by the very tip of the handle as if even touching touching the bag would cause a mutinous attack. I slowly pick it up, nervous of what it would expose. I fling the bag, fearing that it could possibly climb up the bag and reach my arm.
I look down to see a large spider staring back at me. I react quickly. I reach for the only thing close (which happens to be a picture frame) and fling it at him as hard as I can. Dead hit. Sweet. Unfortunately, the frame bounces up in reaction to hitting the floor with such power, and the spider reacts with intense speed. He springs towards the closet door. Thank goodness my husband left the closet door wide open and the light on. The light causes him to stop dead in his tracks.
I watch him intently. He is frozen. While keeping my eye securely on his position, I climb onto my desk chair. The thought of him lurching at me has definitely crossed my mind. I reach for something else I can throw at him. In my desperation I find a folder of papers. This will have to do.
I stand perched on the chair, my weapon in hand, my eye on the target. He has not moved. It's almost as if we are in an old western duel. Both with hands on weapons, waiting to see who will be the first to draw. I even have the theme music playing in my head. I know I only have one shot at this. If I miss, he is gone. He is by far the fastest spider I have ever seen. He is a skilled warrior, that's for sure. He has strategically placed himself in a position that I have to throw my weapon with extreme accuracy in order to achieve victory for there is something else beside him that could block my attempt. I know that I lack in this department. So, I continue to wait.
(photo courtesy of http://www.rollspel.com/engelsk/western/ewestern.htm)
I begin to grow impatient, not to mention start to feel incredibly silly. I for a split second wonder what the poor neighbors below me must be thinking with all of this thumping around so early in the morning, but then remember just a few days prior and am not so worried anymore. I am a terrible person, I know.
I finally give in. It's now or never. I take a deep breath, crossing my fingers that this will work. I fling the folder and - smack! I can't tell what happened. The folder hit the obstruction but also seems to have done the trick. I don't see any quickly fleeing opponent, but I must also confess that I probably looked away and squealed for a split second as well.
Now we are at a crossroad. I am not about to go over and touch the folder to make sure he is dead. After all, that could be his strategy of attack. Hmmm... what to do. I look around to see if there is anything I could use to touch it while still safely upon my fort. I find my keyboard music stand. I think this is as good as it is going to get. I lean over, outstretched, with my music stand creeping closer to the folder. I slowly slide it off the obstruction so it is flush on the ground. Still no sign of my opponent. Hmmm....
I decide to leave the safety of my chair and grab another weapon. This time, my music flashcards. I tip toe to the folder and fling the cards at the folder with all of my might. Simultaneously I am doing my bug dance. Still no sign of him. I begin to jump up and down on the folder just to make sure if he is squashed that he truly is squashed. I know- real mature.
I can't bring myself to muster the courage to turn the folder around so I leave it at that. If he is dead, he is dead. If he has escaped, I have no idea where he is at this point. So, I call it good. By now my adrenaline is rushing through my veins. I look back at my once inviting bed and realize that dream is history. There is no sleeping for me now. Even if I didn't have all of this adrenaline racing through my body, what if I didn't kill the spider? I know he would be seeking out revenge. He would most certainly attack me in my sleep. I was not about to let that happen. So, I move on.
I go throughout my day knowing very well what may be lying in the next room. I have to wait until the perfect time to bring out the vacuum and wisk that guy away to his dusty grave (or at least I hope to). It's coming up on nap time and the kids seem to be winding down. It is now or never.
I pull the vacuum into the room and shut the door. After all, I don't need the kids seeing what a wuss their mom is. After all, I was the hero all day to Weston. He found bug after bug today (luckily all teeny tiny ones) and Mom came to the rescue each and every time. Yay me! I pull the attachment out and approach my pile of papers and flash cards. I pick up the flash cards and hold them above the folder just in case the spider has been hiding out this whole time and still tries to escape. I squeal to myself as I slowly and carefully turn the folder over, when suddenly....
He was dead. You thought I was going to say he jumped at me huh? There he was, all shriveled up and very much smashed. Mission accomplished. I win!!!!
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