Monkey See, Monkey Do

We have always known Natalie is a monkey.  She showed us at a very young age that she was drawn towards climbing.  She still amazes me with her agility at the playground.  Instead of going down slides, Natalie climbs every ladder and rock wall in sight.  The skill she shows is incredible.  She knows exactly where to place her hands and feet and does it with impeccable precision.  I don't have to help her at all.  I just stand there with my hands behind her bum in case I need to catch her.  Once she reaches the top, she smiles, then leaps into my arms to do it again.

So, it was no surprise when we discovered late Friday night that she had climbed out of her crib.  Roland and I were enjoying a movie on the couch when we heard a whole lot of giggling coming from their bedroom.  Roland went in to investigate.  He found Weston and Natalie in Weston's bed with backs turned to the door, playing with each other.  Weston was tickling Natalie's toes and Natalie was laughing relentlessly.  We were blown away.  They both turned around and Natalie grinned so wide as if to say "look what I did!!!!"

We then looked around to notice that the closet door was open and the light was on.  They had opened the closet door and had dumped all of their toys over the ground.  It was quite the mess.  It appeared as if they had been having lots of fun for a long time.  We were sure oblivious!

Roland and I stood there in the dark, wrestling over what to do.  After all, I didn't need her falling and breaking a bone, cracking her head open, becoming paralyzed, or heaven forbid strangling herself in an attempt to escape.  Yes, I had played all of these scenarios out within three seconds.  But, it was the middle of the night.  It's not like we had too many options.

As we were standing there desperately trying to come up with a solution, we watched the monkey in action.  We had put her back in bed while we were standing there thinking and no sooner had her feet touched the mattress than she began her escape attempt once more.  I stood, watching, mouth gaping open.  I had never seen anything like it.  She prepped herself with hands placed over the side and front top rails.  In a burst of strength, she pulled herself up so that her feet could be firmly planted on the side of one rail each.  I then watched as she shimmied her way up the rails.  I didn't even know kids knew how to do that!  Once she got high enough that she could throw her center of gravity, she leaned over the rail and sprawled her body out so that she looked like a flying squirrel.  Of course, this was all meticulously calculated and hands and feet were strategically placed to keep her balance.  In one quick movement, she swung her legs around, using her tummy as a pivot.  She gripped the rail tightly with her hands, dropped her legs down, then lept to the floor.  She was all grins.

We decided that there wasn't much we could do, so we lowered the side rail so that she wouldn't have quite as long of a fall and called it a night.  We would tackle it in the morning.

We both decided that we were not ready for her to have a toddler bed yet and didn't want to spend a fortune for one of those crib nets.  Weston, although he doesn't fall asleep right away, for the most part stays in his bed and will fall asleep eventually.  Natalie has no concept of boundaries.  I can't say "stay in bed" and expect it to be done.  As a result, I have spent an average of 3 hours per day (between nap and bedtime) for the last six days sitting in her room while she falls asleep.  Three hours!  This has resulted in nothing but me being frustrated and angry all day everyday.  I sit there while the kids are falling asleep and it is my job to yell "Lay down Natalie!  Stay in bed Natalie! No Natalie!"  I do this anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half each time it is time to sleep.  She is so stubborn.  I think she thinks it is a game.  I try to ignore her and have my back to her, pretending like I am sleeping so she doesn't get any attention.  When I hear her climbing out, I turn around and yell an order.  For the most part she listens and lays back down, but other times she ignores me and climbs out anyway, with a big smile on her face.  This is how I know she thinks this is a game.  At this point, I pick her up, place her back in bed, tell her "no," and hold her down.  This really isn't getting us anywhere.

My initial plan was to condition her to stay in her bed on her own.  I don't care if she stays up for a while playing, but I want it done in her bed.  I don't want them running around their room disturbing each other.  She needs to be in bed and stay there.  I don't think I am asking a whole lot.  I thought it would take maybe a few days then I could let her be and she would stay in her bed like Weston does.  Boy was I wrong.  But now I am thinking I need a new strategy.  I don't want to be a mean mom.  I don't want her last thoughts as she is falling asleep be that I am a tyrant and am yelling at her.  Most importantly, I don't want to yell at her.  That isn't very good of me as a parent and it doesn't make me a very pleasant person to be around.  I leave their room frustrated, angry, and generally in a very bad mood.  At this point though, if I give up, she wins and I am not being a consistent parent.  I don't want to play the "I'm bigger and stronger so do what I say role," but I want her to respect me and listen to me.  I want her to stay in her bed. 

A few times I leave the room before she is asleep, just surging with anger and frustration.  I leave to cool down only to return to find her running around the room, waking up Weston.  The battle begins all over again.  Roland tells me to just let it be, but I need to be consistent.  I can't be wishy washy or we won't have any results.  I must admit, I have just let it be twice after sitting in there for over an hour each because I desperately needed to get something done.  The first time, she ran around her room and never took a nap.  She was crabby the rest of the day.  The second time, she ran around and when Roland and I went to bed, we found her, asleep under Weston's bed. 

Suggestions?  I'm at a loss.  Should I just give up?  Should I not worry about it?  Is there another approach that has worked for you?  Is there another way I can be "consistent" without giving in?  In the meantime, if you need me.... I will be at the foot of my daughter's bed.