The Diagnosis

So - we finally have it - the diagnosis to Natalie's incessant hearing problem.  I never thought this day would come.  So, want to know what it is?   Twerp.  Yes, that is an actual medical diagnosis. 

We began the day bright and early.  Natalie had to go to bed late and wake up early (and also go without food and drink).  I didn't really understand the whole minimizing sleep thing, because after all, isn't that what the sedative is for?  But, I listened (and boy am I glad I did - don't even want to know what would have happened if I had not).

The location was twenty six minutes away (google let me know it would be about 45 minutes in traffic).  Seeing as how we were to be there at 9am, I knew there would be traffic.  To be on the even safer side (because I hate being late to things), we left at 7:50am.  So, that gave us an hour and ten minutes to get there.  Go figure, it still was not enough.  We were fifteen minutes late.  That's right, it took me an hour and twenty five minutes to go 21 miles.  Sheesh.

Natalie and I walk in (Weston had some fun time with Dad this morning) and they got us started right away.  They explained to me that she would take the medication and we would wait for her to fall asleep.  I asked how long that takes and they told me anywhere from twenty minutes to an hour or so.  If it goes past an hour, they would have to give her another dose.  I guess this is where the being sleep deprived becomes helpful.  Silly me for thinking that it worked like general anesthesia.  So, they gave her the medication and we waited.

They prepped her head for the probes then left me to do my magic.  Really?  This girl doesn't sleep anywhere other than her bed or her car seat.  Holding her to fall asleep doesn't happen.  It just makes her mad.  She is a fighter.  And, so it began.  Her eyes were droopy and she looked like a drunk little toddler.  She absolutely refused to let me hold her.  She knew we wanted her to sleep and she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that didn't happen.  She was flinging herself all over trying to get me to drop her to the ground.  When I put her down, she frantically tried to escape, swaying the whole way.  She couldn't keep her balance at all.  She would fall, tumble, and crash head first into the ground as if her head was a bowling ball.  She would try to crawl and would fall over.  She was banging into drawers, smashing her head into the patient bed, and slamming her poor little face into every sharp corner in the room.  The room was so little that there was no room for me to let her roll around on the floor (which is all she wanted to do) because there was just one more thing she could hurt herself on.  Every attempt of mine to keep her from hitting her head was met with pure anger and violent screams.  She was in such hysterics that she was inhaling saliva and wheezing.  It was an absolute nightmare.

Fifty minutes later, she fell asleep.  It was quite the battle.  She has all of the bumps, scrapes, and bruises to prove it.  Want to know what finally did it?  I sat on the ground with her in my arms and pinned her so she couldn't move.  She flung her head back in protest, and that was it.  Her head was dangling from my knee at about a 45 degree angle and that was enough to get her to relax.  Kind of odd, but hey - she was asleep.  What a welcome sight!

(After I tamed the wild beast.  Notice the battle wound next to her left eyelid?)

The test was a little over an hour.  We sat in a dark, tiny room and I watched as Natalie slept there peacefully.  Never realized she snored - but I know that now.  We were finishing up the last test when Natalie suddenly woke up.  She opened her eyes, smiled, and started babbling like crazy.  She thought everything was funny and wonderful.  She had the doctor, nurse, and I all laughing.  She was all smiles and babbling in the cutest voice ever.  She was so loopy.  She was making all sorts of funny faces.  Just like her daddy.

The doctor turned on the lights and said "everything was perfect."  Apparently Natalie can hear perfectly - no problems whatsoever.  She is just a twerp.  I was certainly relieved, and grateful that we finally have an answer that we can rely on, but really?  At least hearing aids would solve the problem.  Now we have to figure out how to pull her out of her head and actually engage.  This is going to take some work.  So Natalie, it's on!  Now that we know you are fine, it's a battle of the wits.  I'm hoping I win.  :)